Pretty Ugly

I’m a transplant from Minnesota living in Wisconsin. I traded the 45-minute-traffic-filled city commute to work for the smell of manure on a hot summer day. Is it strange that I would rather smell animal dung than sit in traffic?  Each are gross for their own special reasons – but, if I had to pick one…

After years, it may appear that I’ve come full circle but there are still a few Wisconsin-isms that make me shake my head.

The fountain that provides drinking water is called just that. It is a drinking fountain – I will also accept a water fountain. The good people of Wisconsin call this thing a, bubbler.

It does not bubble and if you ask me a bubbler sounds like something British people would call the toilet. Fact: Toilets bubble more than drinking fountains.

Yet another, the stickers that you put on your license plate that show you’ve paid your dues? I call those, tabs. Found out that was a Minnesota thing the first time I went to renew.

Hi, I’d like to to renew the tabs for my car… 

The stare down began and it was clear she had no idea what I was talking about. I still call them tabs – only now I explain myself.

Now, for the most important one: If anyone in Wisconsin wants to debate the “Duck Duck” game – I will fight you over this.

Probably not physically, I’m not much of an actual fighter but I will raise my voice.

Why would any child choose to play “Duck Duck Goose” over “Duck Duck Grey Duck”? I urge anyone that would argue that it is supposed to be, Duck Duck Goose to put yourself in the child’s shoes.

Minnesota: Red Duck…Blue Duck…Green Duck…Orange Duck…GREY DUCK!!!

Everywhere Else: Duck….Duck…..Duck…..Duck….GOOSE. 

Who is going to argue with that? Try me. But, I doubt you feel as strongly about it as I do, so…maybe you should just keep that opinion to yourself.

Wisconsin does win a few pretty substantial victories; I have been converted to saying, soda. I miss saying pop and it makes my heart a little sad that when I do say, pop – it seems off. I suppose that’s what happens when your primary source of income is waiting tables.

You get a few looks …  you know the looks I speak of and you realize it’s just easier to say soda. You say tomato, I say tomaato; doesn’t really matter (except Duck Duck Grey Duck, that does indeed matter).